Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
