That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
please come you make the beer taste better
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
