i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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