and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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