Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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