You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
