Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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