I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
