In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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