I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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