nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
