i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize