I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
