I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Life is so much better after having sex.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
