I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
