Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
