The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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