Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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