it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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