think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
