Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
