Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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