Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Too much gin, very little bucket
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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