16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We are all done wearing pants today
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
