ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
