I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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