He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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