I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
