The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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