Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
