I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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