He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
