I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
