Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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