I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
