Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
