the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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