I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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