So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
