So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
