thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
