sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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