What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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