I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
should my penis look like a turkey
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I need a beard to bite.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
