Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
