yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
