am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
