My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
