I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
