Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
