it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you will always have a special place in my vag
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize