I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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