Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
