Nicole vs. Life
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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