y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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