I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
