Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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