hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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