Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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