I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I forget how to act sober
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