D3 body, D1 cock
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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