I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
