TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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