We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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