covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
