It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
