yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize
