We're facebook friends in real life
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
