Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i wish my penis had a tongue
so let's talk penis.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
